asher yatzer

There are hundreds of Jewish prayers and blessings.

Almost one for each daily action.

Asher yatzar is the blessing said after a person urinates or defecates. There are, however, a number of exemptions.

 

“blessed are you,  

king of the universe

who formed man

with many openings

and many hollows too

 

if one ruptures

or becomes blocked

it is tough

to stand before you

even a short time”

 

incontinence?

must recite blessing

post urination

even involuntary

and all day long too

 

no control of

bowel or bladder?

no need to

recite the blessing

at any time of day

 

meds make you pee?

you in luck, schmuck

sing blessing

only once after emptying

your full bladder out

 

use catheter?

well you are engaged

in one piss

lasting all day long

then pray in morning

 

you got diarrhea?

squeeze your tukhus 

oy vey iz!

but recite each time

you open the bowels

 

taking laxatives?

don’t say blessing 

until success

or your day will go

in a whirl of dreck

 

unsettled mind?

all the rules rattle?

no big deal

big smile now bubbie!

you got exemption 

Paul Levy
Urban Life

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© 2015 by Bill Albert